Daily Archives: 9/14/2007

dirty secrets and resolutions

DIRTY SECRET #1:

the library has blocked my library card.

it’s because I have a couple of things out that are REALLY overdue, I think! I am such a jerk! and I can’t go in to return them until tomorrow night. sigh.

RESOLUTION #1: i went to the library and felt so embarassed. These are the librarians who know me by name! I turned in my half-read and severely overdue books and she renewed the other things that I had on my account. and then she said “you owe $14, and I’ll close it out for $10.” holy cow I love my library.

DIRTY SECRET #2 [NOT MY SECRET]:

sometimes when I go to the ladies room at work someone will have not flushed the seat cover and there will be protective toilet paper there as well. when i see a fully dressed toilet like that I think “man, that person must have some major butt-cooties to be so concerned about covering the seat.” and also, I am kind of ticked off that someone hasn’t taken care to make sure that when they flushed, EVERYTHING flushed. I’m thinking of putting up a sign in the bathroom to the effect of:

Note: if your toilet paper seat cover doesn’t flush some people will assume there is someone with butt-cooties on the 5th floor. Thank you for trying to protect the rest of us, but please make sure everything flushes as it ought to in order to prevent people from wondering which of us has butt-cooties.

but I don’t think it would be effective. thought the person who put up the sprinkle/tinkle sweetie/seatie rhyme did actually effect some wonderful non-butt-dampening change. Thank you, person with the rhymes.
SMALL RESOLUTION #2: um. does the fact that this only happens roughly twice a month count as resolution?