oh sweet jeebus.

I can’t jump up and say this to the people who are talking behind my cubicle, because I am EAVESDROPPING. but:

stop bitching about public transit! it’s the best thing ever, especially getting into and getting around NYC! it’s cheap, it’s fast, it’s usually quite convenient. I would LOVE to be able to take a train to work! LOVE to have time to read, or knit, or whatever! LOVE to not get frustrated at tailgating, to not use up oil, to not leave a nasty vapor trail of potential carcinogens behind me as I zoom!

1. I don’t care if you think subways are FILTHY. stop being such a priss! You know what’s filthy? your lungs after breathing CAR SMOG all your life.
2. I don’t know WHY you think it’s hard to go from NJTransit in Penn Station to anywhere else in midtown. I hear you talking about your options like they’re awful, but really, are the choices of bus, subway, walking (gasp!) or cab just too wonderful and plentious that you can’t choose?
3. I am SO SURE you’re not that important that waiting for a train is going to kill you . Seriously. No, REALLY. you are NOT THAT IMPORTANT! if you were, someone would be providing a CAR with a DRIVER to take places!

you know what bugs ME? sure, maybe I get a tiny big squicked out when I hold onto a railing on the subway that is warm from someone else’s hand, but really what bugs me are smug suburbanites in big cars with matching unexercised legs and lungs bitching about public transportation. you are the people who tailgate me when I’m on my bike because you don’t know how big your car is and you’re afraid to pass. you are the people who buy giant SUVs and pickups because you might need them for 2 weeks a year when you’re on vacation with your whole family. You are the people who require a 2500 sq. ft. house for a family of 4ish. KNOCK IT OFF! you have NO IDEA how good you have it!

and why are you in such a flippin’ hurry, anyway?

snerk. it’s a good thing I didn’t poke my head out of my cube and butt in, b/c I just checked the log and one of the PThaters is a client from a Major Automobile Company. For all I know, she loves public transportation, and gets a bonus every time she slams it!