The Fun Ruiner.

I got caught twice in the last 10 minutes having fun today! Oh, El B., how I’ve failed you…

Michelle and I used to joke about our professional wrestling names. I was going to be The Fun Ruiner, and I’d bust out in a cape and say in a deep, scary, Andre the Giant voice “Mothers, Hide your Children. I am here to Rain On Your PaRade…” She’d be my sidekick, The Purple Grape, and her wrestling move would be The Steamroller (which I’ve seen in action, and it is surprisingly effective). At about this time we’d start to crack up so hard that we couldn’t really continue. I can’t remember why we were talking about being professional wrestlers, probably it had something to do with the movie “Billy Madison,” but with us, there’s really no telling where a whacko idea comes from.

Example: a paraphrased and probably incorrectly recollected conversation from our drive cross-country:

Michelle (looking at map): “Hey, there’s a town called Lolita coming up!”

Kari (driving): “Libido? Weird.”

Michelle: “Burrito? No, it’s called Lolita!”

And then we’d chorus the next few days “Lolita? Libido? Burrito?” and crack up. This was really helpful when we didn’t have a tape deck or CD player to listen to, b/c the jerks in San Francisco had stolen both of them, and all of Michelle’s CDs. Between the never ending Ricky Martin songs, that really dirty Jordan Knight song (“Give it to you”) that was playing constantly that summer, and the rousing renditions of Figaro performed by Michelle, it was good to have something we could repeat to each other over and over that would never lose it’s humor.

While I’m repeating conversations from cross country, here’s a golden one between my brother and I, when I called home after the car had been totally burglarized in San Francisco to find out what kind of info insurance would need:

Kari (very sad, in hotel lobby): “Oh, DanAaron, They broke into our car and stole everything!”

DanAaron: “Who did? . . . Never mind, you don’t know. Oops. I’m sorry!”

Kari (sniffle): “It was the JERKS!”

And then we both started laughing, which I really needed.

Other things said (but might not have been conversations):

Thing Rob-at-work has said today that crack me up:

“Politics is gouging the price of V8 today.”

Only he really said “the man in the box is gouging the price of V8 today.”

I can’t decide which is funnier, the real one or the kari-one.


(And Rob isn’t nuts, there are men in boxes here in NYC who sell us things to eat. Like Bagels and Coffee in the morning. Really, they’re in Tin Boxes. Now, he may be referring to guy who isn’t actually in a box as a man in a box, but that’s just an eccentricity – he’s definitely not nuts.)