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Nine made me a Mother’s Day card this year in school. It’s AMAZING. it’s also my first ever nod from the little dudes on a Mother’s Day. And it felt more than amazing. It felt like crying, and it felt like ratcheting down those tears so sweet Nine didn’t think he’d done something wrong.

Step-parenting is a really weird thing. In my situation, I’m doing all the things a mom would do – the homework checks, the dinner prep, the hugs and kisses, the love, the reprimands, the ferry service, the career day at school, the ball games, finding summer camps, talking over problems with other kids, the chats over meals – but they HAVE a perfectly wonderful ACTUAL mom, so as much as I also love and care for these kids, well. There’s not usually a Mother’s Day for me.

And you know?

That’s totally fine with me. I know these dudes love me. I don’t need a Hallmark holiday contributing to the fetishization of the mom to appreciate what I do – maybe because, as a step-parent, I CHOSE this level of engagement. I decided to be this kind of person in their lives. And I went into it expecting it to be outside of the traditional recognition categories. Traditionally there’s usually evil stepmoms, you know? There’s no holiday for that.

But when the sweetest Nine you know gives you a card that he made in school, which means he was thinking about you when you’re apart, and which says sweet things inside – holy cow. I squeed in the quietest, coolest way possible.

But guys! I got a Mother’s Day card!