This is why I need a blog, or something. The web page requires so much work to write twice in one day! I would get some kind of blog script going, but I have a very limited hosting planâ€¦
I am so frustrated with work.
Honestly, I feel like I need a 12-step program to deal with El Bosso!
Hereâ€™s a constantly repeating scenario:
Iâ€™m on my way somewhere: the printer, the bathroom, obviously Iâ€™m GOING somewhere, b/c Iâ€™m walking pretty fast and purposefully. Heâ€™ll holler out of his office “Karina!” so Iâ€™ll stop by. He will be ON THE PHONE, with Someone, and will be talking about some aspect of the project that a task manager under him has directed this someone to work on. He will get upset, b/c he doesnâ€™t know exactly whatâ€™s going on, and the task manager isnâ€™t immediately reachable, and Someone has called El B with a question. He will start sighing loudly, sometimes pounding on his desk, and flipping furiously through the report in question. He will start making rhetorical statements about how x should have been done, and y should have been done, and everyone has known about this since z happened. He wonâ€™t listen to anything I or Someone has to say, because heâ€™s too busy explaining how this is entirely Task Managerâ€™s fault, because he (El B) was very explicit in his direction, and nothing has been done, or itâ€™s all been done wrong, or it all seems to not be done or to have been done wrong. He will talk over us. He will roll his eyes. But it doesnâ€™t help! It doesnâ€™t help at all!
This makes me think a lot about my place in this workplace. I want to call Someone back, after all is said, and apologize for El B! But thatâ€™s not my job â€“ Iâ€™m not paid enough to do that stuff. I worry that Iâ€™m being an enabler by allowing him to get away with this kind of reaction to a simple question. I worry that my own reputation is harmed by my non-action, by how I just stand by in the door jam of his office while he tirades. I am frustrated that he is not a professional person, and that he reacts more than he listens and thinks.
This is what I would like to happen:
Iâ€™ll be going somewhere. Heâ€™ll holler Karina. Iâ€™ll say “Sorry, El B, Iâ€™m on my way to the ladies room” and Iâ€™ll keep walking.
Or, if I stop, heâ€™ll start with the rhetorical questions and Iâ€™ll say “Iâ€™m sorry, but I donâ€™t really see how this is helping us to find a solution.” Or Iâ€™ll say “that may be so, but itâ€™s not Someoneâ€™s fault, and it doesnâ€™t answer Someoneâ€™s question.” Or “you donâ€™t expect us to answer these questions, do you?” But these responses are not professional! I donâ€™t feel theyâ€™re the right way to deal with a coworker! And it really frustrates me to question my own professionalism in these situations, and to worry about being brought down to his level.
I guess luckily for me, itâ€™s not my job to teach him how to live. Itâ€™s not my job to teach him how to interact with his coworkers. Itâ€™s not my job to explain to him the precepts of good management. All I can do is my real job, picking up loose ends, answering questions, and formatting tables. And hope that heâ€™s not the norm, and the next place I find myself spending the bulk of my waking-life at will be different.
My dad called just now, and I got to hash this all out with him. Heâ€™s very understanding, and helpful. But sadly, he wasnâ€™t able to assure me that this is an unusual El B situation. Ugh. I just wish El B was a vicious, nasty person with an obvious agenda. That would be so much easier for me to deal with.