karina jean

I had a super fantastic weekend, despite it starting off kind of sickish –

I had a pain in my abdomen, right around where my appendix supposedly is. The pain first started on Thursday, and kept hanging around on Friday. I thought it might be gas, because, well, I’ve been kind of gassy lately. But the pain kept getting worse and worse, until Friday night I felt so sad and tired and nauseous I didn’t want to do anything except stay home and read Mary Stewart books. (I love Mary Stewart.) And the pain was still there on Saturday – albeit muted. So, I started to wonder if it was gas, because should one really have a gas pain for 3 days? And when I went to sleep on Saturday it STILL hurt. And also, when I woke up on Sunday! But then I did fun fun things all day Sunday and I guess I worked the problem out. I guess. At least it wasn’t my appendix – I was starting to get really nervous it was!

Super fun things! Yay, cross-country skiing! I love that stuff. It’s been years and years (maybe even 6 years) since I’ve been cross-country skiing. My buddy Jenn and I met and drove up to Fahnestock State Park and spent a few hours trekking around the snowy countryside! It was really great. I do love being outside in the winter. I love being outside in the summer, too, but so does everyone. Wintertime is special, somehow, it’s full of snow, and cold cold air, and you have to bundle up to be warm, and the wind blows, and it’s gorgeous and white. Cross-country skiing is special, too, in a “fringe of society” kind of way. The people who go skiing are usually really into it – plus it requires a basic fitness level that can be off-putting to new skiers. It is hard work. So you get a few different kinds of people out there – the love of nature and adventure people (I think this is where Jenn and I go), the technical skiers, who work so hard on form and technique, and love to wax their skis because it shows a true knowledge of the conditions and the ritual, the true athletes who go so fast and skate-ski, and sprint for 5 miles, and seem to be some kind of Brahmin among skiers, and the love of the sport skiers, who will come out in any old outfit and on any kind of skis the can just to enjoy the actual process. Most people smile or nod as you pass them, and it’s fun to be outside for so long that your face chaps from the wind. No, really, it doesn’t sound fun, but it is!

I got my official corporate yearly performance review. What is it about being me, and working, that makes me want to please people so badly? I mean, I like my department head, a lot. And he says today during the review that I’m good people, and he wants to keep me happy. My immediate response? I feel guilty about leaving the company, and start to think I should give it another shot. Luckily this reaction lasted about 10 seconds, but still. Is it me, personally? Is it being a woman in a technical field?

Lately I’ve been really thinking about joining the Daughters of the American Revolution. I don’t know why, exactly. I don’t know what they do there, but I imagine they have tea and proper stationary. I secretly am drawn to formal occasions where one might wear gloves to visit. The hitch? It might not be so cool as I imagine it, and my dressy eye makeup (dark eyeliner below my eyes, dark mascara, and a pearly light colored eye shadow on my lids) may work against me. Also, this statement from their web page: “The DAR believes that a strong military is vital to American national defense.” On the plus side: they do insist they’re non-political, and check out the hair-do of the president!

What I need to do is have some kind of fun girls club where we do stuff like meet for cocktails, pretend like we’re classy ladies, have tea parties. I think I have enough girlfriends in the area that would like to do this, also! And I also have a full set and a half or 2 of china, and, for that DAR flavor, the time-life pewter American Revolution Collectors Plates. Score.

1. The flaming vagina.  Lord of the rings II was very good.  The flaming vagina – I mean, eye of sauron, was not as obvious in this film.  Just didn’t seem to hang out with the other characters as much as it did in the last one. Other than that, not so much walking and talking and character development.  I would have appreciated a little more character development, and a little less head bashing.  And when I say head bashing, I’m not talking about the kind of character developing head bashing that happens sometime with a one on one fight, but the kind of head bashing that occurs between armies of thousands vs. ten-thousands, and that last for hours and hours.  It was exhausting.  But that doesn’t make this any less of a good movie, it just makes it exhausting. More so, I thought, than the first one.
2. from the List of Things that I Wanted to Say, but didn’t say at all because I’m polite/too nice/wimpy/overly concerned about my career:
   “so, we’ve worked together for 3 and ½ years, and you think I’m making up this emergency? Because it sure seems like you don’t believe me right now.  You’re thinking, right now, that I am shirking my duties to you and this project, and just walking out?  That I don’t have a real emergency?  But I’m not going to tell you about my emergency, dude, because it’s none of your business, and also, because this isn’t a freakin’ pissing contest.  It’s not a competition to see who can work more and put more of their life on hold.  It’s a job with a noncrucial self-imposed deadline, and it’s up against a real life emergency with people I care about and the place where I live.  And real life people I care about win.”
3. I love nice lunches with my coworkers. I love getting silly on nachos and chips and salsa. I love feeling like I like the people I work with for who they are, and not just how good of a job they do.
4. Things that may happen this weekend:  Maybe go swing dancing on Friday.  Maybe pedicures on sat.  Maybe xcountry skiing on Sunday.
5. Horses I encountered on the way to check on my flat tires:  4+.  Number of flat tires: 2.  Reason for horses: Operation Impact, which targets areas around NYC which haven’t experienced the same dramatic drop in crime.  Matt and I went to check on the car, which has 2 flat tires (both in the front, both new, perhaps a seal/seating problem?) and encountered several police cars and even more police horses.  They were standing around in a school, and when asked, an officer said they were on patrol.  Since when did horses patrol Spanish Harlem?  I asked some neighborhood kids what they thought was up, and they suggested maybe trespassing.  Since when did horses protect the neighborhood from trespassing?  Since Operation Impact, that’s when.  Michelle called up the precinct the next night and asked if our neighborhood was part of Operation Impact, and they confirmed this.  They also confirmed that’s what the horses are all about.  Or, the pony patrol, as Michelle is wont to refer to it.]
6. Speaking of flat tires, I have two flattening tires. Both on the front, both are brand spankin’ new tires.  I have to hope that they just put the tires on the wheels wrong at the end of December when I got the new ones.  I went out to move the car on Tuesday and found them both totally flat – but I took a chance and brought the car up ½ a block to a taxi cab repair shop while I was outside, and they were sweet and filled up all of my tires for me.  I tried to pay them, but the guy wouldn’t even take it! He was very nice.  NYC is full of very nice people, y’all!
7. something else from the List of Things That I Wanted to Say:  “What’s that?  The Company’s standard merit raise is x%?  and that’s what I’m getting?  So tell me this:  how does that make me want to work harder?  It’s not for comp time, cause I can’t take any, and if I try to take sick time I have an argument on my hands.  It’s not for overtime, cause that’s an argument right there, and after the argument, I experience severe taxation, not so much more money, and then I find that perhaps my tax bracket has shifted and I’m screwed.  So, I don’t get a bonus, I work so very very hard and I get a STANDARD merit raise?  Now, tell me again:  why would I want to work hard for this company?”
8. New Toffee Nut drinks at Starbucks are so good.  And also, I am so torn about Starbucks. I mean, they provide their workers with a health plan (part timers too!  so unusual! AND, their domestic partners!), and they’re one of the best companies for a woman to work for, apparently – but they’re so nasty and pestilent and all about spreading and putting local guys out of business.  I don’t know if the good is worse or better than the bad!
9. That bomb thing from last time?  It was, apparently, nothing.  Someone here at work said something about a news reporter splayed across the road taking pictures of a bag full of what looked like dirty clothes.  Someone also said she’d asked an officer what was going on and was told “Don’t ask questions – for your own safety!” which made someone else and I laugh really hard, and then I said “Soylent Green is people!” and no one laughed, and I sat down and got back to work.
10. Surreal Life was a hoot.  But have any of these people ever watched a reality show before?  And has Corey Feldman ever talked to a smart person before?  High School Reunion?  Not so hootish.  One of those “reality” shows where they try so hard to make it interesting that they include all of these crazy people.  Or, at least 2 crazy people.  So far that I’ve identified as such.  I think everyone is on this show either for the exposure (hello, my actress/cocktail waitress friend) or to prove to their old classmates that they’re so different, and special. Yo, and everyone, I want you to know that the specialness?  Was there before and now look what you missed out on you foolish shallow person.  Except for conscious recognition of that last part there. 

OK, revisions to weekend plans, no dancing today, pedicures tomorrow definitely, and then a birthday lunch for a college pal, and then, def. Cross country skiing.  Yay!

We had a semi-exciting weekend.

Well, it wasn’t so exciting, but it was cold. It was exciting in a way that required the reaction that only a cold-blooded creature like a lizard, or a snake, would be able to react. Our hot water heater boiler broke! We were sans heat or hot water! For 2 whole days! Luckily, I was born in the year of the snake, so I was able to deal with the problem.

The only part I was nervous about, besides being generally discomforted in freezing temperatures, was my landlord. We don’t always get along. We actually get along less often than we DO get along. Examples:

• Our very large, very heavy, windows wouldn’t open when we moved in. He had them fixed, but let us know that it was the last time he’d do that.
• Our ceiling was discolored and damaged from a severe water leak in the building roof. He was put out. Inconvenienced. This was awful. The super fixed the damage, but the leak was still there in the roof.
• The kitchen sink leaks. It leaks so badly that water pools under the elbow under the sink, and drips into the place under the cabinets that we can’t get to. We get roaches. He sends someone to clean it up.
• The roof continues to leak! The ceiling crumbles and falls on my bed at night! We knock down most of the plaster so large chunks won’t kill us unawares. But at least most of his ire was directed at the building management company, and not us.
• Our hot water heater exploded! Boom! John and Michelle were able to turn off the water, but not before the water burned Johns feet, destroyed the floor in Jen’s room, the hallway, and parts of Michelle’s and my rooms, and soiled and ruined many items in Michelle’s closet. Our Landlord thought we could have prevented this – despite the numerous other water heaters which had burst in the building recently and the age of the heater. See, on of his other tenents had noticed the hot water heater was breaking, and was able to tell him before it destroyed the floor. But he did replace the water heater, discussing (at) with me at great length the expense he was going to. The inconvenience to him (Mr. Has-a-shower). He’s a grouch basket. But eventually, the floor is cleaned up (we ripped up the wooden tiles ourselves, to be sure that all of the wet and loose floor was replaced), the concrete dust settles, and the new heater is in. We bathe joyfully. Jen moves back home after spending nearly a week with her Aunt.
• Our washing machine AND dishwasher break, at the same time. Oh, this is the final straw! We are malicious, spiteful girls. We fight. He hangs up on me. I call back and say I don’t appreciate being hung up on. He says he didn’t, we were disconnected. He doesn’t want to fix the washer. I point out it’s in the lease. He has his wife call me back, and she yells at me for threatening her sweet, innocent, good husband. Then, he sends me a lease with portions forbidding subletting and the ‘as is’ status of the apartment highlighted, and a note requesting me to contact his wife or the management company with any other problems. I send it back, with portions regarding “appliances” highlighted, as well as portions requiring me to notify HIM of any problems with the apartment in a timely fashion. I also prepare a letter detailing the ‘as is’ status of the apartment when I moved in, and I get to use the phrase “fecal matter.” Hee. We are both stubborn, but I am right, and he has both appliances fixed. I emphasize to him the lifespan of modern machinery is not what it used to be, and it sort of blows over. But the facts remain: Michelle and I are hateful, sloppy “girls” who break things on purpose.
• There was a terrible knocking sound coming from the hot water heater. I let him know, reluctantly, but he quickly and quietly fixes the problem. We learn later that he interprets the plumber’s comments as “a piece was broken (on purpose by us) and replaced” instead of “there was a broken piece replaced.”

So when the water heater boiler broke, and I couldn’t get in touch with him, I was very nervous. I had to go over his head to contact a repairperson in the hopes that they could fix it this weekend. They couldn’t. But luckily, the assumption I had made that he was out of town because of the holidays was correct, and also luckily, poor Michelle picked up the phone every time he called on Sunday. He doesn’t yell at Michelle, ever, either because I’m so polite and genteel he thinks that he can bully me, or because she’s so sweet sounding on the phone he doesn’t even try to bully her.

Well, all that said, the guys were supposed to come and fix the water heater today so I can bathe in style tomorrow, instead of boiling 2 large pots of water, dumping them in the bathtub, kneeling in the 2 inches of water, and kind of splashing around like I did last night. That kind of bath really needs someone to scrub your back for you!

Today when I got to work the roads were all blocked off – Third Avenue was roped off for several blocks uptown, and 42^nd street was roped off on either side of Third. There were police and bomb squads. There was, apparently, a suspicious package in the street. I had to go into work through the loading dock. When stuff like that happens and I just go merrily in to work? I think that maybe I’m crazy. Work is not that important, but also, maybe the world is crazy, and these packages aren’t so suspicious. It’s hard to find a middle road that makes you satisfied both in the good qualities of human beings and also safe.

Tonight, Lord of the Rings and the Flaming Vagina!

• Not so much bitching about work! It’s not so bad, you have a job, and you get to take sick days if you want to. Other people can’t say that! And really leave this year like you keep saying you will. And really pay down your credit card balances and your student loans, so if you end up working in a pretty little book and curio shop, you won’t have to worry about that kind of interest gaining thing.
• Exercise more. Like, at least 3 times a week, unless you’re deathly (or partially) ill.
• Not so many coffee drinks at work! They’re expensive, and it’s just peer pressure. You really can just go downstairs and hang out with the coffee clutch, and then come back up with no coffee. It’s not enough that your desk is full of charming tins of tea?
• No eating out during the week, unless it’s a special occasion. And that doesn’t count leaving work at the same time as Michelle, and being able to meet for dinner. I mean, that’s special, and an occasion, but it’s also how you get FAT, dear.
• On the eating note, keep your cupboards stocked with healthy, wholesome food. And cook the damn stuff, and eat it too! For breakfast and lunch, as well!
• Make more things for yourself and others. Clothes, knitwear, household accessories, cards. Fill the world with your handicrafts.

December 5, 2002. Oh the weather outside is frightful. Part II!

It’s snowing!

(What you can’t see in these pictures are the big whirling flakes that are all around.)

It’s been about, oh, forever long since we’ve had a good snow. The national weather service said “driving and walking” would likely be dangerous tonight. It also said that there would be unusually high tides! Whee! Best day ever.

Best day, you know, except for the working part.

I’m working so hard this week: everything is due to the printer on Monday, and we have to incorporate all of these new comments, and print everything ourselves to be sure it looks nice. And, we have to do these rounds of reviews so everyone is sure that everything is done correctly. Now, we’re talking over 2 feet of document here if stacked. And today the color printers stopped working (must print nearly 100 color figures). And then El Bosso started yelling, and cussing, and dashing around, and freaking out (must fix error in data analysis and computations). And I’m really tired, y’all. I’ve been at work all week from about 8 or 8:30 in the morning until 10 at night. That’s no way to live. And El B. still rides me for standing around because he ‘doesn’t want to wait until the last minute to get this done.’ Apparently, I do, and I’m goofing off purposefully so as to drain the sands from the hourglass that is the Nasty Lake Documents.

You know, when I work hard, and get less sleep than I ought to, and don’t eat right, and only have a little bit of relaxing time every day, I start to feel really fragile. Today I am fragile. I start to cry easily. I am tired. I am overworked. People are thinking the worst of me. I only have the snow for comfort right now, but at 6PM when the building shuts the power off and the air starts to cool down inside? I don’t know that the snow will be much comfort at all.

(This must be the most manic entry every. Yay! Snow! Boo, Sob, Sniff, work.)

Lordy Bee, it’s cold outside.

I love walking from the subway to work in the winter once it starts to really get chilly. It’s about 22 degrees in the morning this week, and I get all bundled up in a ridiculous hat and my knee socks and a sweater and gloves or mittens and my coat. I love seeing all of the different outfits that people wear: the older people, with stylish vintage hats and coats. The young professionals with their dapper coats flying in the wind behind them. And then there’s the guys around my age, who are too tough to wear a hat in the winter, and who feel that they must comment on MY hat. Ok, it’s a crazy hat. But c’mon! wear a hat, dude! Your ears are bright red and scary looking! How is that more fashionable than a hat?

Here’s my hat. And my long socks that I wore on the way to work today so my skirt wouldn’t be the death of me. I bought some Swedish military issue wool leg warmers today on ebay. They’re coming from Canada, so I don’t know how long it will take for them to get here. But you better believe I’m going to wear them EVERYWHERE. In the office, in the street, around the house, with fancy dresses. Oh yeah.

  

(look at how smart she is with glasses on!)

This morning I picked up my new winter coat at the post office! It’s beautiful. It’s light blue, and wool, and lined with thinsulate (it reflects the heat back to you! Creepy!), buttons up all the way to my neck, and has cute collars, and buttons on the sleeves. It is perfect. I am so glad I have it for this cold weather, even if it is a little late. Michelle tried to pick it up for me on Monday at the post office and we learned that she needed MY identification to pick it up. Um, what? I asked again, and they said that was the case. I think it’s just a local misinterpretation of the postal rules, because Michelle had called a 1-800 info number and they told her that she should have been able to pick it up with just her ID. Those crazies. Ever since they changed the name of the post office from “Hell’s Gate” to “Someone Riverez” I haven’t loved it there as much. You really can’t improve on calling something “Hell’s Gate.”

They’re saying it’s going to start snowing on Thursday mid-morning. They also say that with these cold temperatures, there’s a good chance for some accumulation by the evening rush hour. The weather service said it could make driving or WALKING dangerous! Hee. I’m really looking forward to some winter, especially with my new coat. But, the only problem is my hat starts to look kind of sad when it gets wet. Like in a drowned skunk kind of way. But I can’t leave the house without a hat, and my other hat isn’t as pretty!

We weren’t allowed to leave the house in the winter when I was little without a hat. Even if we were just going from our warm house into our warm car and into another warm place, Mom would say “but what if the car breaks down?” and once it did, when I was driving from Albany to NYC for a new years party we hosted in our SoHo apartment. I spun-out and went backwards into a ditch and crashed the car into a rock wall in a snowstorm and had to change my tire with my own two hands while it blew and snowed. And then I hobbled the little broke car off the road and took a bus the rest of the way down for the party. I was so glad that I had 2 wool sweaters and a hat and mittens to wear as I jacked the car up and jumped on the tire iron to loosen the frozen lug nuts. And that the auto mechanic I left the car at let me put the plants I’d been bringing home to my apartment in their store front so they wouldn’t freeze to death until I could get back there to claim my stuff.

In NYC I think it’s even more important to have warm outerwear accessories, because the wind comes off the river, whips around buildings and down long avenues, and hits you hard and cold. My cool hat isn’t the best, because it doesn’t really cover my ears all the way, but it does look freakin’ cool. I don’t have any mittens right now, and I really need some, because my fingers get too cold and lonely in gloves. These are my after-Christmas projects, I guess. Before socks. After lace scarves. That’s a good interim project, quick, easy, and for me.

Goodness gracious.  I am so swamped here lately.  I am working very very hard, and then staying up late at night reading romance novels.  I had a fantastic weekend.  I had a super duper thanksgiving.  I am so sorry, Mom, my one devoted, true, regular reader (not true?  Prove it!), that I haven’t updated yet.  And here you’ve been spreading the good word!  Don’t worry.  I’ll put things up.  Piecemeal-style.

Kari

Your first name of Kari has made you a friendly, approachable, and generous person. Generally you are good-natured, though at times you can be blunt and sarcastic. As you are naturally talkative, you find it easy to meet and make friends with many people. This name inclines you to be sympathetic and generous to those in difficult or unfortunate circumstances. You can be firm, positive, and independent in your own ideas and in reaching your own decisions, yet when it comes to taking action or following things through to completion, you often need encouragement. You respond quickly to kind words or any appreciation shown you. There are artistic, creative abilities in this name that you could express through music or singing, or, in a practical way, through sewing or interior decorating. You enjoy freedom from monotony and are stimulated by unexpected opportunities for meeting people, entertaining, or pursuing activities of a carefree nature. In your work, you find it difficult to be neat and orderly. You rarely plan things ahead of time, or follow a routine. Emotion and feeling, the desire to be carefree, friendly, and happy, are the driving forces in your being, rather than shrewdness, ambition, and material success. You could experience headaches, or problems with your teeth, ears, eyes, or sinuses. Health weaknesses relative to the functioning of the liver could appear.

 

or

 

Karina

Your first name of Karina has given you a very friendly, likeable nature, and you could excel in artistic, dramatic, and musical expression. With this name, you desire the finer things in life, but you do not always have the resolve and vitality to put forth the effort necessary to fulfill your desires. Your emotional feelings are easily aroused and you will always be involved in other people’s problems as a result of your overly sympathetic nature. You have many disappointments as a result of extending a helping hand to others in need, and then not receiving any acknowledgement or reciprocation for your generosity. After each experience, you have to guard against feelings of despondency and self-pity. You have lofty goals and high ideals, but must incorporate more practicality, system, and concentration in order to materialize them. In health, this name affects the nervous system and also the fluid functions, giving rise to kidney or bladder weaknesses.

 

?

From http://www.kabalarians.com/gkh/your.htm#links

Friday night I saw Comedian with Jerry Seinfeld.  Matt really enjoys Seinfeld.  I don’t mind the guy, but honestly, I don’t think that his show is the superfantastic fabuloso thing that so many other people feel it is. 

That little disclaimer said, I really did enjoy the movie.  It’s a documentary about being a standup comedian.  It really shows how hard it is to be a successful comedian, and the painful process you have to go through.  The film showcased Seinfeld, who’s already big and who is rebuilding his lineup, and a young comedian (Orny Arnold) just about to make it big.  They picked the right young comedian to juxtapose Seinfeld, too.  That was great casting.  The film was also incredibly hard and painful to watch.  It’s freakin’ hard work to be a comedian.  You have to stand up in front of all of these dumb drunk tools and tell jokes.  And there’s always the 3 people in the audience who think they could have been a comedian, and they’ve got their own commentary to add.  For someone who’s ever been in front of an audience, it’s a scary scary proposition. 

And something else I noticed?  Comedian’s eyes are always very very sad.  They’re like those porcelain crying clown figurines.

Saturday I woke up early to cook some squash.  I was invited to a pre-thanksgiving potluck party, so I wanted to make an exciting and glamorous dish.  This is it (from the joy of cooking, and paraphrased):
Quinoa-stuffed Acorn squash

• Bake 3 acorn squash, halved and face down in a baking pan with some water in it, until soft.  Let cool.
• Sauté onion in a buttery pan.  When golden, add and toast quinoa.  Add vegetable broth, cover, and cook about 15 min. (until soft).
• Scoop the insides out of 2 of the squash halves.  Mix into cooked quinoa, add toasted hazelnuts/almonds (I used almonds this time, but with hazelnuts it’s so fantastic), fresh parsley, and a bit of parmesan cheese.
• Stuff the other squash halves with the squash-quinoa mixture.  Sprinkle more cheese on top and bake until heated through.

So good!  So glamorous!  So sophisticated!

Quinoa is a really fantastic grain, by the way, it’s got nearly perfect proteins, so it’s a good meat “substitute” and it cooks remarkably fast.  Much faster than rice.  It’s good, and so texturally pleasing!

Right, so I packed up my double recipe of squashes (acorn and pretty carnival, which turn out to be a sweet squash) into 3 pie pans, and was lucky to catch a ride with Matt to NJ so I didn’t have to brave the every-2-hour bus ride to Nutley.  I got there early so I could help out.

The potluck was really fun.  The food was fantastic, and the hostess was a sweetie.  Really, she’s the mostest.  Mostest bestest!

So Friend Doug drove me home afterwards, which was super swell of him, b/c it would have taken hours on the path to the subway combo (ok, not hours, probably just 1.5-2 hours.  But we left at 12:30, so it would have been very late getting home!).  And then, I went to bed.  And I slept until 12:30 the next afternoon.  And I got up, and stayed in my PJs all day long.  I don’t usually wear the matching PJ set, so that in itself was pretty cool.  I threw some laundry in. I sat on the couch.  I put in my contacts when John and I settled down to watch a PBS documentary based on the book “Cadillac Desert,” we watched 2 parts of 4. Then John watched the Giants game, and I knit on the couch.  (I finished the scarf, and nearly finished stripy surprise item #2!)  When the game got tense and I noticed that I was freaking cold, I got up and left John to his own devises, and washed the dishes (mom was right, it really DOES warm you up…). 

Michelle got home just after the football game was over, and we watched Moulin Rouge.  Now, I don’t know what I was expecting, but it sure as heck wasn’t that.  It was fantastic, and weird, and funny, and colorful, but I really didn’t expect it to be like it was.   It was wild!

And after that?  It was to bed.  Um, not to sleep, but to start and finish a short novel. Terrible habits I’ve got going here with the reading in bed stuff.  I think it’s because when I was working so hard I didn’t really get any down time at home, so I got in the habit of reading for a bit in bed.  And now I need to break that habit!  I have sleep to get. 

Right now I’m feeling terribly lightheaded, so I think I’ll leave work a tad bit early.  I’m not sure what’s going on, but I do think I’ll feel better on my couch.  I’d love to stop by a yarn store on the way home to get some double pointed needles for my mittens, but … it just seems like such an effort to get somewhere.  I’ll give it a shot.  If I take the knitting bus home I can cut across town to Knitting 321 and then take the 1^st Ave. bus the rest of the way home.  That’s not so bad!

There’s a thunderstorm outside! 

It started to Fall-rain today.  Something I have gotten used to here in NYC is the rain that happens during the fall.  Weather patterns are something that can be so defined and in a region, but I hardly ever notice changes in them until the expected weather pattern HASN’T happened.  Like one summer when it rained all the time up in Albany.  Maybe I thought it was raining so much because I was kind of depressed, baby-sitting in a weird one-parent-staying-home situation for the summer, or maybe the weather patterns were skewed.  I really do think it rained a lot that summer.  I remember Albany being extra lush and green, and I remember the shade of green that reflected from the full trees to the low gray clouds and back down to unmowed grass.

In NYC, it’s supposed to rain in the fall, be cool for December and January, get really cold in February, with not much precipitation during the winter.  Then for spring it will warm up a bit and rain at night only.  Summer time has thunderstorms with hard driving rain and hot muggy temperatures, sometimes oppressive.  Everyone walks around sweaty.  The sun is clear and orangey-red, and it hits your shoulders in a heavy way.

Today, I was surprised to hear it start to thunderstorm.  I don’t really know where thunderstorms come from, I’m used to blaming them on the summer, or the humidity, or the heat.  I’m used to sitting at my grandmothers’ in Tennessee during August and watching the thunderstorm clouds roll around her hill, until they’ve gone nearly all around us before suddenly bursting open and dropping a quick hard rain that briefly shoulders the heat and humidity out of the way before the sun breaks through the clouds and heats the wet streets until they’re like a long sauna, surrounding everything. 

But I’m not used to these fall thunderstorms.  In the fall the rain will come at night, and in the early morning.  It will rain softly in the morning but so steadily that you can’t leave the house without an umbrella.  The oil and dirt on the pavement will start to wash away, but won’t disappear as quickly as you wish they would.  The oil will start to spread its sheen and will pick up the little light afforded by the gray sky.  Last night it rained like this.  It started after work, and rained on and off all night long.  The rain was cold, but not too cold.  The clouds kept us warm like a wet wool blanket.  The weather report for today said it would rain on and off, turning colder overnight until we hit real November temperatures for the weekend.

Instead, today it started to rain in earnest.  The sky got prematurely dark during the day until we remarked at 3 PM that it was practically nighttime.  But we didn’t blame the weather, we blamed daylight savings time.  And then I heard the rain slapping the window as it fell.  And one loud boom of thunder surprised me while I was on the phone.  That was all – the thunderstorm moved on through, and an entirely appropriate fall rain stayed in its place.  It wasn’t too hard, but fell softly into puddles.  It got people wet.  It was a proper fall rain.

 

Last night I went to a birthday party for a friend of mine from school.  It was lots of fun.  I was able to isolate myself from my classmates for the first 2 ½ years at college, and then the few semesters I started being better friends with them.  I’m so glad I did, because I really enjoy spending time with them.  They’re a classy bunch of people, full of smarts, sass, and fun.  And after all of my tireds from yesterday I managed to stay up very late, and get home very late, and not get enough sleep.  That’s ok, though, because it’s the weekend tomorrow…

Today is a quiet day in the office, with Lake Nasty meetings taking place sans Me upstate.

I’m exhausted.  Honestly, the last month is catching up with me.  I’m worn down!  Plus, I have been relishing my home time this week a little too much – my evenings go something like this:

• Get home.  Eat a little something.  It’s generally 7:30 or 8 by now.
• Sit on couch and knit and watch TV for a few hours.  Favorite shows:  7^th Heaven, That 70’s Show. Malcolm in the Middle.  Other fave. shows of various roommates:  Ed, West Wing,  and others, including BBC world news.
• Around 10:30 start toddling around like I’m ready to head up for bed.
• Hit the sack around 11.  Read.  Favorite books to read in bed:  trashy trashy romance novels.  Louisa May Alcott books.
• Speak to Matt around 11:30 or 12.  Go to sleep very late.

All that, and then waking up at 7:30 the next morning, on top of being pooped from the wedding, and even more on top of being pooped from working so hard from the last month, well, I’m a tired girl.

Yesterday I went straight home on the knitting bus.  That’s what I’ll always call it.  It’s a good bus. I love it.  From what I’ve read, knitting in public (or kip, if you’re down with the knitting lingo used on the inter-web) is supposed to garner strange looks and interested questions from strangers.  I barely ever get anything.  Maybe it’s that NY state of mind, where no one is supposed to look at anyone else and NO ONE is supposed to talk to a stranger.  Not that I’m looking for conversations with strangers, really, but the non plused silence just isn’t what I expected the first time I whipped out the knitting.

When I got home I went cooking crazy, with easy-peasy stuff. I made a pound of part-whole wheat spaghetti and used some of it with the end of this fantastic Thai peanut sauce that a buddy here at work made and gave me.  It’s so good and spicy and gingery.  I love it.  That was for my dinner.

On the rest of the spaghetti I did my tried and true spicy standby:  some chipotle-garlic spice tossed with some parmesan cheese.  (Michelle is a saint for having a big bag of grated cheese from Costco in the fridge.  It makes my throw-together cooking so much easier.)  I packed that for lunch some day.

We had some left over ugly potatoes that weren’t pretty enough for the potluck roasted potato dish, so I cooked ‘em up and mashed ‘em down.  Mmmm.  And, to tempt fate, I threw in some MORE chipotle-garlic spice, only I used the HOT kind, not medium, and sauteed some garlic in olive oil to add to the potatoes.  Yum.  Only, I added too much spice.  Lord knows how hot they’ll be today after the flavor sets!  And then the Ever Prescient Jen coined the term ‘spicy spuds’.  Mmm, spicy spuds.  How many times can I write Mmmm?  I think I’ll go for one more.

Mmmm.

Of course, today when I got into work I immediately heated up my spicy noodles and ate them for breakfast.  Er, brunch.  I have a really hard time when I bring my lunch to work – I just want to eat it immediately.  I’d say I have about a 60% success rate of waiting until lunch time to eat.  So, for lunch I went and got a sandwich.  Not the best way to watch what I eat.

There’s a mystery at work today – J. has roses on her desk!  But she’s at the tiger team meeting (rowr!) with El B., so who the heck knows where they came from!

There are TVs in my elevator at work.  It’s a brave new advertising strategy that is designed to target captive, young and rich audiences (we are, apparently, are on average: 39 year old professionals, 60% in management, with 66% graduating from collage and a household income of $105K) on their hazy commute to and from work.  Now, it’s not all advertising, there are fun facts, and polls (you can vote at their website!  It’s interactive!), and the word-of-the-day, but mostly it’s just a fantastic excuse to not have to talk to the other person in the elevator with you without feeling awkward.  The company’s name is Captivate, and the silly TVs are, apparently, a vehicle to reach the target audience during the part of the day where they are already making purchase decisions.  It’s very subliminal, in a not at all subliminal way.  This is called “Captivate time.”  I call it “I don’t know that person from the 5^th floor, though I’ve seen them around, so instead of making awkward small talk, I’ll be very interested in how Lyle Lovett and Anthony Kiedis were born on the same day.  Imagine!  Lyle Lovett is 45 years old!”

 

 

I read this morning on the TV in the elevator that the Vietnam memorial opened today in 1982.  I remember going there with my family when I was younger, and my mother looking for the names of people she knew.  She was in the army around the time of the Vietnam war.  

 

Knowing that the memorial opened in 1982 makes a lot of little things snap into place. I knew it had opened during my lifetime, but I didn’t realize that when we went in 1983, or when I was in 1^th grade, it had just barely opened.  I remember the memorial being very crowded, with people silently reading the wall, and red roses everywhere.  I guess until now I thought it would always be that way, the black gash in the ground filled with silent and somber people.  When I went back during high school while attending a conference in DC, I was surprised at how few people were there – I know now that maybe that’s probably just the way it is these days.  I also remember a conversation between my Mom and my 1^st grade teacher, who was also a veteran.  We lived right up the hill from the school in Oak Ridge and sometimes she and my baby brother would walk down to get me at the end of the day.  I recall waiting on the front steps of the school as she spoke with him about our visit to the memorial.  I think it must have been just before we went to the memorial.  I thought that people of my mother’s age, especially Vietnam vets, just talked about this stuff with others quite freely. I guess that’s not the case really. I have always felt very strongly that the Vietnam Veterans Memorial was the best memorial that could have ever gone up, because I have seen the way my mother and other visitors reacted to it, but I am always shocked to remember that it wasn’t always there, and it wasn’t an easy thing to be built.

 

This must be a belated veterans day entry, hey?  Happy Veterans Day, Mommy.

It’s a bizzaro heat and rain day today. Now, I love the humidity, because I’m a weirdo from the south. And I love the rain, because it’s wet, and breaks up the humidity, and it washes the streets clean, and it scrubs the air, and I’m a geek, so I love knowing how the water runs through a watershed when it rains, and I love knowing that reservoirs are filling and wetlands are forming, and acting as giant sponges. I love all of that. I don’t so much love being in NYC during the rain.

Today I was heading back to the office with my lunch, and this little man with an umbrella nearly as wide as he was tall was walking towards me. His umbrella was so large, and so red. He was chattering on his cell phone, and as I came abreast of him his umbrella whacked mine. It whacked it! I spun around and stared after him. There weren’t many people on the sidewalk, and I guess I could have moved aside for him, but I must have underestimated the small mans size.

Then I thought as I walked away, I should have yelled! Shouted! Yelped! I had a full body flinch, and it’s a known fact that in NYC the silent killer is umbrellas. I react sharply and suddenly to my cell phone going off in my pocket (well, it vibrates, and it startles me!) and I should cultivate that sudden reaction for when people whack me (and my umbrella) as we walk past each other in the street.

But then I imagined what it would look like if I did yell – it’s raining, not too hard, and tall me (with my little pocket sized black umbrella), walks past short man (with his huge, red, red, red, umbrella). We pass each other. He whacks me with in the umbrella as he talks on his cell phone, and continues walking down the street. I reflexively wince away from him, and yell. Maybe I’ll yell a word, maybe “hey!” or “ouch!” or maybe it would just be a loud “aaaah!” noise. I’d stop short, spin around. And stand there yelling at him as he walked on down the street. Maybe the person on the phone with him would ask what that yelling noise was – and maybe they wouldn’t.

See, I’m invisible here in NYC. It’s hard for me to understand why, I think I’m a pretty obvious person. I’m just over 6’ tall in my shoes. I have wild red hair. I look people in the eye. I have a pink and white face. My hair is so wild that I must repeat myself: I have wild red hair. But no one ever looks at me, unless it’s summer, when my clothes are skimpy and I encounter the “privileged male gaze.” They walk right into me in the street. I can be on a crowded sidewalk, walking towards a group of people 2 or 3 abreast, and they won’t move but will walk into me. But, that’s ok. Once, in high school, some guy walked into me. He bounced off of me and landed on his keyster in the middle of the hallway. You see, I’m a brick house. Yaow.

Last night Matt and I had our very special anniversary dinner – we had great Italian food, and then he gave me the best present ever: the Crossroads DVD. It’s my first DVD even! He’s got a real knack for finding things that I secretly want (cowboy hat, Britney Spears movie) but that I wouldn’t really buy for myself, and getting them for me. He’s so awesome. AND, he watched it with me! And sang along during the special “Sing along with Britney” karaoke feature at the end! If I weren’t in lurve before…